The Mortal Path

50) High Society Hi-jinks

Here we go again! Our friends in Hopewell are mingling with all the right people and sneaking, lying, and scheming their way through high society. They may have gotten past the gates, but the Upper Circle of Hopewell doesn't offer many places to hide. Nerium, Natalia, and Taro are put to the test and must use their skills and quick thinking to avoid everything going wrong before they've barely even started...

See also: Vape With Dead, Oi come from, that's so good on radio, did you see the handwriting?, oh we cou--... No!, and jump.

[Check out and enter our fan-work competition and win a gorgeous set of dice from our new Affiliate http://www.thesecretcatshop.co.uk as well as a specially recorded congratulatory message from a character of your choice in the show! Rules can be found here: https://themortalpath.com/2020/01/09/2020-fan-media-competition-rules/ and make sure to listen to our middle bit for a special discount code for The Secret Cat Shop!]

49) Behind Bars

Friends, if you thought last episode was a horny mess, you ain't seen nothing yet. Join our favourite disasters as they visit the sweetest NPC on the planet in jail, gathering clues and information left, right, and centre. With new leads to follow and tickets (literal tickets) into the Upper Circles of Hopewell, Natalia, Taro, and Nerium must keep their wits about them if they're going to pull off a jail-break and a heist all at once...

See also: I'm just thinking about Avatar, I'm gonna Google that, Quattro Vagina, OH THAT WAS FINDEX, look 'em right in the eye when they come, and an unfortunate tinkle.

(Join our fan-media competition: https://themortalpath.com/2020/01/09/2020-fan-media-competition-rules/ )

(Join our discord: https://discord.gg/e5h5WkM )

48) Plots and Plans

Near Year, New Us! This episode contains none of the following: puns, horny jokes, and references no one gets. This is a serious show for serious people playing serious D&D, now. This is what you wanted, right? Right?

Nah. We neither. Join Taro, Nat, and Nerium as they get up to their usual shenanigans. They may have been away from Alfallen for almost a quarter of a century, but the world's kept spinning, and there are answers to seek, jobs to do, and people in prison to visit...

See also: knees and toes knees and toes, when you say 'north', sleight of hand, a switch job, BMX Bandit, and it's new wave art.

[Please be aware although we reference a joke/skit containing Robert Webb, we absolutely condemn his transphobic beliefs and do not support him in any way.]

For the rules of our Fan-Media competition, please check out: www.themortalpath.com

And don't forget to check out our new affiliate The Secret Cat Shop (https://thesecretcatshop.co.uk/) and make sure to listen to our middle bit for a special discount code!

All EDited Out Vol VI

Ho ho ho! 'Tis the season to be jolly, and we're here to ruin it with another special session of outtakes, bloopers, and general what-the-fuckery. Featuring special guests Beetle and our sadly departed Likki, this is sure to leave you laughing but confused. How we even have enough content for an actual episode of the show is beyond me, but Yubi's caskets of audio mishaps are overflowing and what better way to share the burden of what it's like trying to record the show than this...

(We'll be back with the next actual real episode on Jan 8th!)

47) Missed Connections

Season 3 is in full swing as our merry trio settle themselves in The Laughing Cat. Nerium still has pieces of her old life to pick up, as well as more messages from Melvyn detailing all he's done to find her. Taro and Nat head out into Hopewell and to the library, determined to start to unravel the mysteries they've been unceremoniously dropped into, and Findex is put on the spot to prove his worth. But during an evening of good drink and food, their night is disrupted and soured by an old 'acquaintance' of Nerium...

See also: That sounds weirdly familiar, Jary Jems, which is the most true?, I intimidate the book, and dump-dump-dump-dump-dump.

46) To Hopewell

Welcome one and welcome all to the very first episode of season 3! Wahoo! Wahey! It's a party and you're all invited! Join our three "heroes" with our favourite anxious lizardman as we crash back onto Alfallen. We're stronger, we're smarter, and we're infinitely more fed up with Gods, magic, and it all not being as it should. They may be back, but it seems everything has changed drastically in the meantime...

See also: Our gamer tags, grime-ing, I will fucking punch you Gary, a low corn campaign, this is Taako, and I hope he's paying you well.

Season 2 Recap

As we gear up for Season 3 of our main campaign, take a moment to remind yourself of what's gone on in Tenbren! 

Of course many delectable and delightful moments have been omitted or forgotten by yours truly, but if you need a quick reminder of What The Heck Even Happened, this one's for you.

 

 

1) Gobblin' Grub: Hopewell Edition

Join us as we storm the innocent streets of Hopewell, terrifying and thrilling the inhabitants with our cunning business skills and invigorating Goblin-ness. Three new heroes, three new foes go toe to toe as we face the showdown of the century. Food, sanitation, and more puns than you can shake a breadstick at lurk in this deeply weird and wonderful episode...

See also: Gary's Unlimited Power, u b knasty, Cookin' and Truckin', I was due to start a sentence, The Shriek, HoNk :0), and I slide my croc seductively across the counter.

[You can find Gobblin' Grub here: https://rocketorca.itch.io/gobblin-grub and follow Amber Marie here: https://twitter.com/rocketorca]

1) Shelter (The Steps of the Prophet)

Hello and welcome to a very special episode, brought to you by the wondrous ed and Gary! We play The Steps of the Prophet and build a society in Alfallen, trading questions and concepts before turning to the cards for the fate of our settlement...

See also: Dash not Dart, we aren't cultured people, fuck that answer!, I refuse to play in this space, let's keep this land boneless, Build-A-Bottom Workshop, now that's what I call corruption, and One Of Us.

[The Steps of the Prophet is a game written by Charlie Dart (https://twitter.com/Charlie_Dart) and you can find it here: https://charlie-dart.itch.io/the-steps-of-the-prophet]
[You can vote in the Audio Verse awards here: https://audioverseawards.net/vote/]
[And you can join our Discord here: https://discord.gg/9x9D4vX]

45) Under Cold Water

Well here we are again, dear friends. Wednesday is upon us, and with it a new episode and the scintillating thrill of a season finale. Join us as Taro, Nerium, and Natalia travel down into the Nightmare Lake, and down even further to face what lurks beneath, or above, or in between. Games are played, promises kept, and once more our three "heroes" plunge toward the unknown...

See also: A dry passage, the final bounce, is it an iPad, Dank-arill, 3 tricks your rhrino will love, sure would be great if we knew that, and the WOOP bit.

[Please vote for us in the Audio Verse Awards here: https://www.surveygizmo.com/s3/5255245/2019-Voting-Ballot and please check out our friends Queer Dungeoneers at: http://queerdungeoneers.podbean.com/)