54) Beneath the Bones

April 1st, 2020

[CONTENT WARNING: Description of a body from 14:15 to 18:30, in line with previous content on show.]

Welcome back on this merry Wednesday! What better to chase away those mid-week blues than an episode of merry japes, mispronunciations, and thrilling twists! Join Natalia, Taro, and Nerium as they continue to explore the mysterious smuggler's cave, and come across several new and very intriguing pieces of information...

See also: Who's Gary?, smoke and what?, you seem to know too much about this, if you had one message, known gnomes, and we quit Steam.

[Don't forget to check out Rachel Graff's bandcamp at: https://rachelgraffcomposer.bandcamp.com/

And use our code MORTALDICE for 10% off at https://dndice.co.uk/ ]

53) Treasure

March 19th, 2020

We're here! We're back! We're a day late because whoops! But don't worry, we have a slightly-longer-than-normal episode with which we hope to appease you! Join our merry trio as we get stuck into some serious shenanigans! Taro and Nerium scheme and bond on their way to Nat's location, hidden away in the Singing Skull's smuggling caves on the outskirts of Cindarion. But don't worry, she's definitely cleared all the traps, and now there's only treasure beyond the Blood Chugger's wildest dreams to claim! Right...? 

See also: Sea Walter, not a morning person, I'm showing vulnerability, slow traps, mould earth, a hoard of anime, and book crime.

(Don't forget to check out https://thesecretcatshop.co.uk/ and use the code TheMortalPath10 for 10% off, and come join us on our discord: https://discord.gg/atQDxaq ! We also want to recommend checking out Rachel Graff's bandcamp https://rachelgraffcomposer.bandcamp.com/ as on 20/03/2020, bandcamp is giving 100% of proceeds of sales to the composers! All the music she's written for The Mortal Path is available there, so check it out and grab some sweet tunes!)

52) Reflections

March 4th, 2020

The year marches ever on and here we are again, humbly presenting you with a finely crafted hour of entertainment and Quality Content. Join us as our three "heroes" navigate what it means to be a team, confronting old fears and beliefs, as well as reflecting on the bonds and friendships strengthening them, and confronting some unpleasant memories from the past. Oh, and Nat does some sick stunts...

See also: I'm very careful with the cloak, don't worry about it Yubes, 13 Cantrip Nat, intell-ajacent, fuck D&D, and wait - you're getting dice rolls?

51) Old Flames, New Sparks

February 19th, 2020

There's something in the air tonight, friends. Maybe it's because we recorded this on Valentine's day, or maybe we're just using that as an excuse, but either way this episode is full of thrills, chills, and anticipation a-plenty! With the whole of Hopewell's Upper Circle on high alert for a mysterious magic user with a 15ft vertical leap, Natalia lays low (badum tsh) while Nerium and Taro meet old friends and make new acquaintances...

See also: Long bones, you have two stats, Jason Gerudo, this is character development! Finally!, WINK WONK, tasteful cream, and oh it's a scam!

50) High Society Hi-jinks

February 5th, 2020

Here we go again! Our friends in Hopewell are mingling with all the right people and sneaking, lying, and scheming their way through high society. They may have gotten past the gates, but the Upper Circle of Hopewell doesn't offer many places to hide. Nerium, Natalia, and Taro are put to the test and must use their skills and quick thinking to avoid everything going wrong before they've barely even started...

See also: Vape With Dead, Oi come from, that's so good on radio, did you see the handwriting?, oh we cou--... No!, and jump.

[Check out and enter our fan-work competition and win a gorgeous set of dice from our new Affiliate http://www.thesecretcatshop.co.uk as well as a specially recorded congratulatory message from a character of your choice in the show! Rules can be found here: https://themortalpath.com/2020/01/09/2020-fan-media-competition-rules/ and make sure to listen to our middle bit for a special discount code for The Secret Cat Shop!]

49) Behind Bars

January 22nd, 2020

Friends, if you thought last episode was a horny mess, you ain't seen nothing yet. Join our favourite disasters as they visit the sweetest NPC on the planet in jail, gathering clues and information left, right, and centre. With new leads to follow and tickets (literal tickets) into the Upper Circles of Hopewell, Natalia, Taro, and Nerium must keep their wits about them if they're going to pull off a jail-break and a heist all at once...

See also: I'm just thinking about Avatar, I'm gonna Google that, Quattro Vagina, OH THAT WAS FINDEX, look 'em right in the eye when they come, and an unfortunate tinkle.

(Join our fan-media competition: https://themortalpath.com/2020/01/09/2020-fan-media-competition-rules/ )

(Join our discord: https://discord.gg/e5h5WkM )

48) Plots and Plans

January 8th, 2020

Near Year, New Us! This episode contains none of the following: puns, horny jokes, and references no one gets. This is a serious show for serious people playing serious D&D, now. This is what you wanted, right? Right?

Nah. We neither. Join Taro, Nat, and Nerium as they get up to their usual shenanigans. They may have been away from Alfallen for almost a quarter of a century, but the world's kept spinning, and there are answers to seek, jobs to do, and people in prison to visit...

See also: knees and toes knees and toes, when you say 'north', sleight of hand, a switch job, BMX Bandit, and it's new wave art.

[Please be aware although we reference a joke/skit containing Robert Webb, we absolutely condemn his transphobic beliefs and do not support him in any way.]

For the rules of our Fan-Media competition, please check out: www.themortalpath.com

And don't forget to check out our new affiliate The Secret Cat Shop (https://thesecretcatshop.co.uk/) and make sure to listen to our middle bit for a special discount code!

All EDited Out Vol VI

December 25th, 2019

Ho ho ho! 'Tis the season to be jolly, and we're here to ruin it with another special session of outtakes, bloopers, and general what-the-fuckery. Featuring special guests Beetle and our sadly departed Likki, this is sure to leave you laughing but confused. How we even have enough content for an actual episode of the show is beyond me, but Yubi's caskets of audio mishaps are overflowing and what better way to share the burden of what it's like trying to record the show than this...

(We'll be back with the next actual real episode on Jan 8th!)

47) Missed Connections

December 11th, 2019

Season 3 is in full swing as our merry trio settle themselves in The Laughing Cat. Nerium still has pieces of her old life to pick up, as well as more messages from Melvyn detailing all he's done to find her. Taro and Nat head out into Hopewell and to the library, determined to start to unravel the mysteries they've been unceremoniously dropped into, and Findex is put on the spot to prove his worth. But during an evening of good drink and food, their night is disrupted and soured by an old 'acquaintance' of Nerium...

See also: That sounds weirdly familiar, Jary Jems, which is the most true?, I intimidate the book, and dump-dump-dump-dump-dump.

46) To Hopewell

November 27th, 2019

Welcome one and welcome all to the very first episode of season 3! Wahoo! Wahey! It's a party and you're all invited! Join our three "heroes" with our favourite anxious lizardman as we crash back onto Alfallen. We're stronger, we're smarter, and we're infinitely more fed up with Gods, magic, and it all not being as it should. They may be back, but it seems everything has changed drastically in the meantime...

See also: Our gamer tags, grime-ing, I will fucking punch you Gary, a low corn campaign, this is Taako, and I hope he's paying you well.

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