The Mortal Path

8) Dangerous Dealings

After a rough struggle for some up the notorious Fifth Gate, our three "heroes" follow new friend Findex first to a hidden storeroom and then to meet the Commander. Despite a tense introduction Natalia, Nerium, and Taro manage to impress Gehesh. He offers to take them back to Tenbren and to take them treasure hunting so they can meet the mysterious wizard who might just help them return to Alfallen. But after a private discussion, our protagonists decide to take a very different path...

See also: motivational quotes, dick meat, paying props to 50 Cent, dead polar bears, greetings assholes, do not Doxxas, adult brains, longing for goats, the puppet master, and betrayal.

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7) Finders Keepers

Fresh out of combat and with a new friend at their sides, our plucky and unlucky three travel deeper into the Fallen City to meet Findex's Commander. Strange reflections in a mirror awaken some incredible abilities, and while taking a rest in an abandoned house, our heroes find a few very special items abandoned in the rubble. But even after resting the challenge of the climb to the Fifth Gate bests most of the party, and unusual measures to scale it are taken...

See also: No liquids in ass-pockets, normal reactions to being weird, Taro's Very Cool, Findex gets a fright, Erh? Erh?, It's Magic! Looks like Magic, 2 Ronnies 4 Candles, piggybacks, and flexing.

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6) The Fallen City

Once more dragged from everything they know and understand, our three weary and confused protagonists survey the bad new world ahead of them and decide it doesn't look good. A giant structure reveals itself to be some sort of deserted city, seemingly dropped on its side in the middle of nowhere. With no signs of life and a need for shelter, Taro, Natalia, and Nerium head inside the walls of the Fallen City, but after failing to find much of use within the gates beyond shop signs in an unknown language, Nerium and Natalia are unpleasantly surprised and blood is drawn...

See also: A dropped Minas Tirith wedding cake, God-like stealth, live action Harry Potter roleplay, taking back sad groans, bad fight instincts, nudity nuances, scary daggers, and simmering the fuck down.

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5) The Icetooth Ball

With confidence, tacky costumes, and a new fun accent Taro and Natalia face down their most terrifying enemy yet: mingling at a party. With some very interesting and unique approaches to information gathering, our dynamic duo manage to glean some information from the sinister Elden Zugai. Meanwhile back at the town hall Nerium plays detective and conducts a thorough inventory of her strange new companion's belongings. However, when a mysterious figure breaks down into unspeakable horrors and something goes very, very wrong with the final act of the evening, our three "heroes" suddenly find themselves at the heart of a much bigger problem.

See also: The Lord Mayor's Croupier, furniture recognition, Joxas Joxas Troxas, how to please a king, cryptic diaries, Taro's searching for a "mate", mouth mistakes, and two failed constitution checks.

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4) Old Debts

Face to face with the mysterious Marlo our heroes do what they do best: cause confusion and accidentally cast spells. But the tables are turned when Marlo reveals a connection between herself and one of the three, and a large sum of money is seemingly owed to her for past services. Without the coin to pay, Taro and Natalia agree to attend the Icetooth Ball to help Marlo gather some information while Nerium decides to do some digging of her own.

See also: Big medallions, 10 whole Gary pieces, cancelling ed's face, we're really sorry J. Zugai, swords are dangerous, the Merry treatment, how to befriend old men, and Count Talisar Tarovian.

(No, really. We're sorry J. Zugai. We love you and your name is fantastic. Please still love us.)

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Getting Mortal 1

Welcome to our behind the scenes episode, Getting Mortal! Join us on a giggle-fest as we delve into character creation, the abhorrent use of science by Yubi in the creation of Alfallen, soundscapes, and so much more.

See also: Deep in the geek, ed's "bus voice", Yubi's bad science, accidental homage, and a couple of inches of horn.

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3) On Foot

Our heroes find themselves in a whole different sort of trouble after being accused of a crime they're pretty sure none of them committed. Despite a whole host of bad ideas and various misjudged attempts at escaping their situation, it seems like the mysterious Marlo might be their only hope.

See also: Bed sharing shenanigans, insta-betrayal, I think genuinely like 5 crit fails, and a fascinating game of "I Spy".

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2) Where The Fuck Are We?

After nursing their wounds and their pride, our odd heroes find some sweet loot - though the purpose of the items isn't immediately obvious. Things only get more mysterious in a cavern studded with constellations, and though puzzles are solved, the riddles just keep on coming.

See also: Ass pockets, people being "permanently pissed off", Nat's Naruto run, an unfortunate "I started saying something and cut myself off at a bad place" incident, and lies. So many lies.

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1) Let There Be... Goats?

Welcome to the first episode of The Mortal Path, a 5th edition actual play Dungeons and Dragons podcast! Join Yubi (DM), Kitty (Nerium [Meredith]), ed (Taro), and Gary (Natalia) on a wild and thrilling journey through the homebrew world of Alfallen where magic is rare and the cogs and gears of technology are starting to clank into life.

In this episode our heroes wake to find themselves in a bit of a predicament, and with new powers - some asked for, some not - starting to reveal themselves...

See also: A complete inability to comprehend basic architecture, magic goats, synergy stairs, and a dangerously almost-deadly fight.

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Episode 1 Preview

A D&D 5th Edition play podcast, get excited for The Mortal Path launching January 17th!